Hello.
I am trying to get as much information as I can, I am in my way to collect information to figure a plausible explanation out. Even if it requires a little bit of fantasy or high strangeness within the hypothesis.
When I talked with this with my family and friends I used to tell them this started one year ago, however my own mother, a biologist and other relatives of mine suggested me to take into account the possibility of this starting before the 11th of February of 2023.
I’ve always been a very creative person, since I was very young I was attracted to angels, the Bible (for the lore, my grandma is a very religious person) , fantasy stories such as Merlin and his tales, into UFO and I always made stories with such topics in it. I used to draw fantasy, dragons, the cartoons on the tv, fairies, mermaids etc…
Nowadays I work as an art teacher while I study in the university, I wish one day I can draw my own graphic novel or write a book (not related to fantasy btw)
Well, let’s say this connection with the unknown it really made me believe I was quite crazy when I was young, until now part of me believe I am making this up, I, for the sake of the wellbeing of my mental health decided not to believe this. I didn’t want to be treated as a freak, as a liar, as someone who just want attention. But now I do not care, I want to tell my story, I am sometimes treated as a liar, lunatic and, it is no as bad as thought.
I will not going to get deep into the various stories here, I just want to write them here, and have a conversation about what this is.
when I was four years old I used to go with my mother to the library, there I used to borrow a film of babar the elephant. I watched it in my house over and over again i remember it brought me comfort and joy. But I remember being terrified of one scene, the one where the witch appears. I used to be sooo terrified that I ran away from the living room to other rooms in the house. I remember one particular day where i hide in my room and when I entered the room I saw in the rocking chair a person, it was black, it was laughing. Adding more details will be lying but I for sure remember being in panic but at the same time tranquil, watching it and then I went back to the living room and I finished the film as I always did.( hallucinations when young are apparently quite common)
https://youtu.be/kVg8fbf0K8s?si=18JiaNdN9vs0v-7U
I was twelve or so when I woke up at 2-4 a.m with my mother shouting at me and switching off all the electronics in my room. The music was on, the tv too, i just remember that, they were SO LOUD! My mom looked at me and she told me to go sleep again, I did. But when I woke up that morning I ask my mother why nothing in the house turned on or why it just happened in my bedroom. As for today my mother does not have answers. Overcurrents? Outage? why didn’t all the other electronics in the house did the same? When everything happened I was not afraid, I supposed I was tired so I didn’t react.
When I was teenager (14) I suffered a syndrome called explosive head, I used to perceived big explosions while sleeping, it stopped one day, but then came nightmares about (weirdly and disturbingly) kittens dead, in a plain, dead, some mutilated some just lying on the ground… recently I dreamed with not kittens or cats, but birds. This has never stopped.
2023: I become conscious of this “situation” this night when I woke up from listening the cries of my cat, it was four in the morning, and when I went to look for him i saw the brightest light in my window (i have a pretty wide window) I was again tranquil and pacific but I was confused. Why was the Sun up so early, I looked at my phone and it was four In the morning. I thought “summer is coming so, that is probably the reason why the dawn is coming so early” I don’t remember much, just waking up really late and backwards (my head in the other side of the bed, where my feet normally are) this might have a plausible explanation, this could be all just a dream, or I could have got wrong the hour and it was 8 in the morning and my cat was begging for food instead of crying for help? I honestly don’t know.
2023: A white pigeon appeared in my life, let’s say this dove gave me confidence and really helped me to understand myself. She now lives somewhere in the neighborhood, sometimes I see her but rarely. Well, while taking care of her. 3 or 4 pigeons crushed into my window. (The dove I taking care was not there) my cat and I froze. I was alone and it never happened again.
2023: a strange man started approaching my friend and I from the back. I felt the urge, almost like if someone or something pinched my gut or liver and she and I went somewhere else. He was indeed in the back, with a male friend.
2023: I had a dream (that really made me think I was in a state of psicosis) where a bomb felt , everyone dead, everyone died. I don’t know but I think I died too. It was so real, it disturbed me for months…
2023: Suddenly series of numbers appeared in my head (this happened just twice, it has never happened again in my entire life again)
I didn’t talked you about various and múltiples sleep paralysis I had. Nothing has never happened, it is not comfortable but I was never afraid of them. The unique thing is that sometimes i feel like I can’t scape them. Well, one time (I think was an hallucination) I saw aliens? They were talking to me like robots.I didn’t understood the language . Again, saying more would be lying to you. I don’t remember more. It was after the meal or so.
2023: I started to engage in psychic topics and so I begun ( I don’t do it anymore) my journey of remote viewing. Let’s say my first times were surprisingly accurate, but I have to admit (perhaps another psychotic episode?) i started to felt watched and I stopped. I remember onetime I felt how they were watching me (it was at night) it never happened again.
2023: when I started doing the psychic journey I stumble some tapes, I started with good results, I felt amazing till one day I got scared. I felt a bright light in my head, pulled me and I felt so good… No more coments, I just thought “wow the power of the mind is absolutely amazing” but never done it again.
Also I had some experience of floating while meditating and feeling wavy and stuff like that but, I don’t think it is really important.
and the most important thing, and probably the most disturbing one . Happened in …perhaps 2022? Or 2021? I felt a being, a thing caressed me and started to have sexual relationships with me, I remember being again quite tranquil but also questioning myself WTF. It really never felt bad? He or she or it was being careful and treating me well? I know it sounds like a bad thirsty novel written by some smut random author but… it happened and I never knew why. I was conscious I just shout my eyes for a moment and I felt a big presence (BIG in term of height) even animalistic and it started. Again I was not afraid, I just started to think I was crazy when everything stopped.
I heard people telling me that my ethnicity matters. Well I am from Bolivia but living and raised in Europe.
Nowadays depression is not something special, milenials are used to hear someone they know have this outrageous mental illness, and I did too when I was young. I am better now! Really better!
Enjoying studying and helping my community and family.
Every comment is welcome, please be respectful.
Thank you.
( I attached a drawing I did of the pigeon incident)
by Opposite_Advice_1369